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Heart surgeon after 23-hour (successful) long heart transplantation. His assistant is sleeping in the corner
Do you ever say to yourself “wow I have so many responsibilities” and then continue to sit in your exact spot without moving or making any sort of effort to engage in your tasks?
(via sugars)
→ Translating Male Speech Patterns
Boy: “Come over let’s watch Netflix and cuddle.”
What he really means: “let’s cuddle and watch the first five minutes of an episode of hoarders until I get a boner and then I’m gonna poke you with it until we end up having sex to the soundtrack of a man crying because his daughter is making him admit he doesn’t need 17 flathead screwdrivers”
(via fawnbabe)
The signs and laughter:
Aries: laughs at their own jokes, hits things when they laugh, even other people
Taurus: sort of quiet, breathy laugh, if they find something really funny they'll keep laughing for hours
Gemini: loud, spontaneous outbursts of giggling, face usually gets red when people see them, finds things wayyyy funnier than they actually are
Cancer: cover their face when they laugh, usually don't laugh too loud but when they do it's adorable
Leo: laughs at EVERYTHING, usually loud, sometimes can even make themselves laugh, makes self-deprecating jokes for attention
Virgo: usually don't laugh at a single thing for too long, people need to keep the joke going for them to laugh REALLY hard
Libra: will try to make their laugh as flirtatious as they can if a love interest is around, make jokes about situations theyve been in
Scorpio: sometimes unpredictable as to what they find funny, likes crude jokes, finds people hurting themselves funny, loud(ish)
Sagittarius: genuinely funny, laughs at your joke and then will add something to it to make it even funnier
Capricorn: same as virgo, probably have lots of inside jokes with their friends, they usually dont laugh really loud in public but if you get them alone they will SCREAM
Aquarius: laughs at the weirdest things, sometimes even the smallest jokes can make them laugh so hard they cry
Pisces: giggle and smile at almost everything (sorta like theyre high), usually laugh a lot, though not loudly
